All the these seventeen years I have been Lonely…
Here I am standing by my window again, alone, hurt and neglected. Why dad why !! why do you have to be like this. Why don’t you see your little angel fading away and falling. If only you could see the tears in my eyes right now, you will know the pain in my heart. Mom, I know you love me. But I don’t know why even you too have lost a touch with me. If I disappeared today, will anyone notice? I guess, I understand why Mom is neglecting me. She is fighting her own battle and may be even I am the reason why she is bearing dad in first place. Different people have different ways to deal with such a situation, I haven’t found mine yet.
That guy in Black T-shirt is looking cute today.
My life has become limited to this tiny room of mine and the view from my window. I have lost count how many times have I seen you two fight and how many times I have quietly slipped out of living room to the confinements of my room and cried. I cry for whole nights, stay awake and stand by my window just staring blankly into the dark.
I have seen him before, kinda good looking. He has nice muscles as well. Wonder why he always wears that big hat and big round glasses.
No one hears me cry, nobody cares. I have to find a way out of this miserable life. Out of the blue suicide seems like a nice idea. I wonder whether I will ever see a ray of light from this window of darkness. Life seems as dark as the dark night ahead with no stars and no moon…
He leaves daily at around 9 in the evening and comes back by 5 am. May be he works night shifts at some call center or something. I can recognize the sound of his Pulsar from a distance, I have heard it many times clearly in the silence of dawn.
Honestly if Mom and Dad don’t really care for me I guess I must also stop thinking about them and end this miserable life of mine.
My view right now is the jacket he wears over his broad shoulders with neatly polished buttons, and the scarf around his neck tied so that the ruffles perfectly fill the space left open by his coat. He has an air of confidence around him. His rectangular face with a defined, slightly pointed chin and a sturdy jaw line can make any beating heart skip one.
I think I will get a sharp blade and cut my hand.
I stand by my window for whole nights just to get a glimpse of him while he leaves and returns back. Wonder if he ever knew someone was watching him from some window in the next building. Why can’t you just look up for once and see an angel waiting for you. If only you could see the smile on my lips right now, you will know about the Love in my heart. I have a big crush on this guy who just lives next door and all I do is stand my window for the whole night and just see him for a few minutes. Most girls would know or will find out their way to handle these feeling properly, I haven’t found mine yet.
All the these seventeen years I have been waiting just for him…
————
image courtesy : Harshad Phansalkar – Whites